So, LJ is delightfully quiet right now, & in the pause, I find myself reflecting on the year that was.

This time last year, I remember feeling like I was spinning my wheels. Or maybe going in circles is a better analogy. There were a lot of things I wanted, & wanted to begin, but progress was impossible. Felt that way, anyhow.

This year has seen a whole bunch of progress, & all of it, at this point, looks pretty darn positive. Suddenly all the changes I'd been wanting to make have begun to begin. As it were. Life has unsnarled in a lot of ways -- a lot of ways I reckon I probably don't deserve, but I ain't been one not to seize an ill-gotten opportunity when it comes my way.

Even the writing has taken another step up for me. I set myself several deadlines this year, & though I failed to meet exactly two of them, I'm pleased as hell to say I met the others. This has proven such a satisfying system for making myself put butt-to-seat that I plan on devising several more deadlines for the new year. That's about as close to a new year's resolution as I'll come, since I hate that idea, the new year's resolution. What a way to make yourself feel bad.

I got no interest in that. I feel good. And I intend to hold onto that.

Change, however, is an exhausting process, and there are one or two changes that happened that I could've done without, and one or two -- but _only_ one or two -- regrets I have. Despite the unusual accusations of a friend many years back*, turns out I actually DON'T control the universe. This has always been a disappointment to me, naturally, but one I think in 2006, I finally came to accept.

Funny, this whole year has been about acceptance, for me. I've found myself in a better place, & I've found a lot more of that good stuff, acceptance -- a lot more given & a lot more to give. This can only be what's known as 'awesome'.

If there's anyone actually out there in LJ-land, I'm curious as to how your year's been, & how next year's looking.


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* The unusual accusations pertained to the wedding of a third party, of which I'd said, 'I really don't have a good feeling about that marriage.' Judgmental of me, sure, but eh. My unusual friend said, 'The fact you believe that guarantees that outcome.' Or similar. Somehow my negative belief outweighed the beliefs of the two (clearly more optimistic) people getting married. I paused and then told her, 'Er, I'm sorry, but I don't accept that I will destroy someone else's marriage through sheer pessimism alone', and my friend said, 'Listen to you, you're in denial.' Yes, quake with fear, tiny fools, for I & I alone control your fortunes! I have learned not to deny my power! Mwahaa... etc. Gah.